C.rap Battle
The C stands for CoiehdibejsfiwuegbfwjnEdocn.
I don't care, I just wanted it to look like a crap battle.
But then it would be demeaning to all that participate, so you come up with your own title.
After SocialAssassin made a little rap about me, I had to reciprocate.
Well, I tried to anyway.
So here it is.
"Mister Ass-ass-in
This is a rap battle you just can't win
I know you be tellin' the world that i'm crass
Prancing around with pictures of my ass
But the reality is that you're a big wussy
Textin' grandma's and eating pussy
Oh don't dare think that i'm done
This ain't over, even though i've won"
So see this very sweet little tralala ballad of a rap here that i've put together?
Yeah?
Well look at what SocialAssassin replied with.
"Grab a chair, sit down, and listen to me holler,
Stop the sucky-sucky, put down the ten dollar,
Take the number 47 with prawn crackers off the grill,
And listen to me spit you a rhyme that is ill,
I'm coming in swinging and bitch I swing hard,
You want to throw your weight but girl this is MY yard,
I've got the sick flow and the lyrical timing,
You're gonna get pimp-handed by my dope-ass rhyming,
No-one out-raps the Assassin, my discs are all platinum,
Anyone gets in the ring I'm straight-up gonna flatten 'em,
I may be a white boy from an Island in the sea,
But you overstep the mark when you face off against me,
Your pitiful words sounds like so much prattle,
This 'aint a nursery rhyme its a fuckin' rap battle,
You could barely hold your feet after one night clubbing,
How you gonna handle this word-based drubbing??
I'm twice your size and a million times faster,
You're the new padawan to my Jedi Master,
I'm the sickest lyricist you've ever seen,
My rap style is crazier than Charlie Sheen,
While you're waffling about fashion and trying to look sweet,
I bench-press sacks of rice in 100 degree heat,
You may think this is a challenge to me that you're giving,
But bitch I work with knives and cut chicks up for a living,
So find your little hole and go crawl back in it,
This is a rap-race and you're not gonna win it,
While you're half-way round the track like a worn out cunt,
I'm chillin' at the finish line smoking a blunt,
I know you've seen my flow before, you told me you'd checked,
So when you're strolling through my hood you should have shown some respect,
Bow your mother-fucking head and toast me with sake,
You just got served by a white boy who's hotter than Wasabi."
Stop the sucky-sucky, put down the ten dollar,
Take the number 47 with prawn crackers off the grill,
And listen to me spit you a rhyme that is ill,
I'm coming in swinging and bitch I swing hard,
You want to throw your weight but girl this is MY yard,
I've got the sick flow and the lyrical timing,
You're gonna get pimp-handed by my dope-ass rhyming,
No-one out-raps the Assassin, my discs are all platinum,
Anyone gets in the ring I'm straight-up gonna flatten 'em,
I may be a white boy from an Island in the sea,
But you overstep the mark when you face off against me,
Your pitiful words sounds like so much prattle,
This 'aint a nursery rhyme its a fuckin' rap battle,
You could barely hold your feet after one night clubbing,
How you gonna handle this word-based drubbing??
I'm twice your size and a million times faster,
You're the new padawan to my Jedi Master,
I'm the sickest lyricist you've ever seen,
My rap style is crazier than Charlie Sheen,
While you're waffling about fashion and trying to look sweet,
I bench-press sacks of rice in 100 degree heat,
You may think this is a challenge to me that you're giving,
But bitch I work with knives and cut chicks up for a living,
So find your little hole and go crawl back in it,
This is a rap-race and you're not gonna win it,
While you're half-way round the track like a worn out cunt,
I'm chillin' at the finish line smoking a blunt,
I know you've seen my flow before, you told me you'd checked,
So when you're strolling through my hood you should have shown some respect,
Bow your mother-fucking head and toast me with sake,
You just got served by a white boy who's hotter than Wasabi."
GOOD GOD.
He even had the gall to say he hoped that I was not easily offended.
If I was, I wouldn't live in Australia.
Not me, but it could be.
So I replied with
"Whoa whoa whoa are you ok?
You sound like Eminem at the karaoke <-- *note: I rhymed ok, with oke. brilliant!
I know my lyrics and rhymes ain't that strong
Maybe cuz I put down that bong
I prefer to keep my raps short and pithy
Yours are so long, you look damn silly
You think you can come here and get yo way?
Well fuck you my coffees mucho grande!
What was I sayin? I don't even know
I'm just tryin not to lose the flow
Guess I don't get my beats from Vanilla ice
He's just another white boy who's not very nice
Ok ok you got some talent
But I don't need it, my face is my weapon"
Then he went on
"The rap was so long to help you understand,
That I planned my pimp-hand to leave you canned,
Dont need to write an essay I can keep it real,
Your raps sound like the barking of an asthmatic seal,
I'm trying to cut you some slack cuz' you is a hoe,
But I've seen urinary infections that had more flow,
You're career's dead and buried and I'm the Graverobber,
G's up, Hoe's down and Goodnight Cobber."
That I planned my pimp-hand to leave you canned,
Dont need to write an essay I can keep it real,
Your raps sound like the barking of an asthmatic seal,
I'm trying to cut you some slack cuz' you is a hoe,
But I've seen urinary infections that had more flow,
You're career's dead and buried and I'm the Graverobber,
G's up, Hoe's down and Goodnight Cobber."
AND on and ZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
But seriously.
SocialAssassin's got some mad skills and now we have an open mic.
Come up and challenge us!
I've made you all a little button you can add to your blog.
It is a masterpiece, why this is not hanging up in the Louvre I just don't know.
You can participate by commenting or writing a blog post about it, just make sure you link back to me and SocialAssassin!
As issued by SA himself
"Bring them on, come one come all,
They can step up, rep up and just watch 'em fall,
I'll waste 'em in bunches or one at a time,
This mofo here is the British Bulldog of Rhyme!! "
As for me, don't even try me.
I am more beautiful than all the asian girls in your local dim sum eatery and kick like a mule.
i'm so beautiful that stars fall down from the sky every time I walk by
GET READDYYY TO BATTLLLEE!!!!!
p.s: remember you can participate by commenting or writing a blog post then leaving us a link in the comments
